Life really sucks when you don’t know what you want to do with it. I think my biggest problem is that I like so many different things that I can’t just pick one to focus on. That and grad school is a really big commitment.
The problem with science is that you pretty much have to get a Masters or PhD to be able to get a good job. But to get a Masters or PhD, you have to specialize in something. Picking something to specialize in is a real problem for me because I love a lot of things in science. On the other hand though, I talked with a professor that told me that after grad school, you probably won’t work in the field you went to grad school for. Needless to say, that makes life way more confusing. So do I pick a speciality or do I just go for general biology because it might not matter down the road?
Well I’ve decided to apply to neuroscience programs. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do in my career, but I at least like the idea of studying the brain’s response to music. I’m hoping studying that won’t relinquish me to sit in a lab all day running tests, because I REALLY don’t want to do that in life. I think combining science and art is 1. Awesome and 2. Less likely to make me become a lab rat.
While the idea of neuroscience and music is great, I still hesitate. Going to grad school is a big commitment. It’s 5-6 years of my life that I’m signing away. And I know that jobs are the same thing, but since I don’t even honestly know what I want to do in life, taking a huge step by going to grad school is intimidating. Some days I question whether I even want to get into science because it means I may never really get to travel, which is so not okay with me. I need to be able to travel, and science is not noted for jobs that allow you to do that. But while this is a big issue for me, I don’t know what else I would do besides science. It’s all I’ve ever known. It’s what I’m good at. It’s something I love.
Current life status: stuck between and a rock and a hard place.