It’s Been Awhile

I haven’t written on this blog in just under a year now. I’m not a writer, and I never claim to be, but I thought that maybe having this blog would inspire me to write about my life more. Clearly that didn’t happen. Although I could say that I didn’t write because I just didn’t care, I think I’d be lying to myself. I think I didn’t write because I was discovering myself and just didn’t realize it.

This past year, I went through four jobs, gained and lost many friends, and had some life-changing experiences. Last night, before the clock struck midnight and my friend and I exchanged “Happy New Year!” celebrations, I told her that I didn’t think 2014 was my best year. Outwardly, it wasn’t, especially compared to all of the things I did in 2013. Looking inwardly, however, I think 2014 was one of the most important years of my life thus far because of the enormous amount of personal growth I did. Through all of the changes I’ve gone through, I’ve become more and more happy about myself.¬†Finally landing my first full-time job where I actually use my college degree was a huge first step. It made me feel like my four years at college was actually worth something besides gaining amazing friends. My coworkers there are truly a second family and the reason I get to have so much fun at work. Like everything at my job, the time in which it took us to bond and become so close with each other was like a snap of the fingers, and I could not be more content with the people I work with than I am right now. Taking up running and finishing my first 5K this year was another huge step for me. I’ve always liked sports, but never thought I’d actually like running until I found out how peaceful it really can be. I’ve gotten to the point where if I’ve had a stressful day, I actually want to run. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I’d be thinking those thoughts. The fact that my coworkers are also very active has been a help. Participating in the Baltimore Running Festival with them was an important push for me. I became mentally happier and happier as the year went on, which led me to finally start dating. Kickstarting my love life was easily the biggest and scariest thing I did last year, but for the first time in my life, I felt like I was worth someone else’s affection, at least over the internet.¬†I still have trouble accepting that someone would actually want to romantically be with me, but I’m trying to take it as it comes and learn from every new experience.

2014 was a year of triumphs and jumping off of cliffs into the unknown, and I hope it continues into 2015. Realizing that I did so much personal growth makes me even happier and content than I am right now. I’ve come a long way from this time last year, where I was stuck in retail and didn’t think I was worth a man’s affection. Now, I’ve got a full-time job, coworkers and friends that I love and are more supportive than ever, and a guy that seems to be into me (though the verdict is still out as we haven’t even kissed yet). And to top it all off, I had a euphoric four days at Firefly. So here’s to 2015, the year of closing my eyes and jumping head first into whatever life throws my way.

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